I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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