You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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