took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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