I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize