I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
