I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
