is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
