It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
