Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
