Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
ttyl tear gas
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
