This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
