After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
