Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
