Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
