I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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