For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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