He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
