i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
