This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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