Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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