weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize