i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
