She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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