How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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