you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Randomize
