dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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