Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
