ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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