I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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