Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
