So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
My pussy is not your playground.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
