last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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