i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
