Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
