Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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