U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
