There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
high people should be assigned attendants
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
