I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
