You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
