The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Someone shattered a urinal.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
