My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
