Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
