I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
