I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He did a backflip because drugs
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