Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
