we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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