how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
And then my night got REAL pukey
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
