youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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