she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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