Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I need a beard to bite.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
