if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?