the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
