My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy