it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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