Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I wear drunk well.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
