Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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