he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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