wrigley field is MILF paradise
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize