I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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