She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
