All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize