drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
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We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
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I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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