I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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