If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
